The best revenge is really living your best life. When my engagement failed, I wasted a whole year trying to break off the break up. 2014 was a year of regret because I wasted my precious time trying to “fix” what could not be fixed. I was blinded by my “ideal” man and could not see the frightened and broken man in front of me. The pain of disappointment was inevitable and my heart was shattered by the reality that this hopeful relationship was nothing but an illusion.
But God…used this fallacy to shatter the fantasy and expose my own fears of feeling the pain of rejection, shame and guilt. Through many hours of counseling, I discovered that my heart never had a voice. I muzzled it fearing abandonment remnicient of my painful childhood. This will be the last relationship where my heart takes a back-seat.
I long to share my life with a partner who is passionate about God, me and transformation. I desire to have a child from my womb, to look into my daughter’s eyes and see a piece of my heart outside of myself. I’m going to have these desires fulfilled because I am choosing to be different this year. I’ve recognized my wounds and have found the salve for healing. I’m going to risk failure and pain and live from my heart.
I wonder how many married people muzzle their true heart’s desire to be heard, known and received. I worry that most couples have settled for less than God’s ideal for a mate because they don’t want to be single, but are they living with regret? Is there a continual “yes” for their heart to express herself, to seek after passion, to run with God after creative dreams, to dare to try something no one has ever done?
I’m going for it damn it! I let my heart roar in response to my mother’s controlling accusations and to my ex-fiance’s religious manipulations. I’m done with the cages of other peoples’ shit. I don’t even have to get angry anymore but choose to decline with joy! I get to choose my response to controlling, fearful people. I even have permission to ignore them! 2015 is about saying “NO” to regret and “YES” to my heart. I bless you to find out what your heart has been dying to say, to you, to your loved ones and to the rest of the world. We are waiting to hear from YOU.